Tuesday, December 24, 2013

70 things I learned abroad

*In no particular order

70. Product names are in English, yet their instructions are in Danish.

69. Berlin is the most amazing place you will ever visit.

68. French accents are awesome.

67. Danes have a day of getting hammered to celebrate the release of limited Christmas beer. It's like St. Patrick's Day.

66. Don't judge a bar by it's size.

65. A degree in mechatronics is a thing.

64. It rains a least once a day. If it rained less than twice, it was a good day.

63. Diving in a non-heated outdoor pool in November is so ill-advised.

62. Smoking in a bathtub is probably the most suave thing ever.

61. Hedgehogs are everywhere.

60. Europeans drive like madmen.

59. There's a Czech version of Cinderella, it's a classic.

58. If you puked in the harbour while a Frenchman held your hair, it was a good night.

57. Shots first thing in the morning is the worst.

56. Being woken up with a leaf blower will scar you for life.

55. Stripping in the woods during a freezing cold night is a horrible idea.

54. 150 drunk kids on bicycles is the number one way to die.

53. The fun factor of a pub crawl depends entirely on who else is on it.

52. Scots have the best accents.

51. Meeting another Canadian abroad is the most exciting thing.

50. Europe has the most eclectic types of hard liquor. If you don't recognize the brand name, you're gonna have a bad time

49. Be prepared to always repeat what you just said. Either they didn't hear you, you spoke too fast or your accent is too thick.

49.5. Alternatively, make sure to always listen closely to other people, to avoid the same issues.

48. Europeans have never heard someone say "oh my fuck" before. They will mock you.

47. Europeans have also never heard of Arthur the Aardvark, any reference will be lost.

46. People will always greet you with a hug regardless of when was the last time you saw them.

45. Naked people are everywhere.

44. French girl anger is legendary.

43. No one says washrooms or bathrooms. It's toilets. People will look at you funny when you ask where the washroom is.

42. No one knows what the piano song "Chopsticks" is.

41. Germans think that Christmas songs like Silent Night and Oh Christmas Tree are exclusively German.

40. "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" sung in German is the cutest thing ever.

39. People will think you're making a sexual innuendo if you say "we're working like a well-oiled machine". Actually, this applies to a lot of English sayings.

38. Glogg is hot wine. Not as gross as it sounds.

37. There is little to no water in the toilets.

36. Pillows are square, not rectangle.

35. Top sheets don't exist.

34. Passive aggressiveness is a way of life.

35. Yet somehow direct confrontation is also a way of life. Europeans have figured out a way to be insulting while being completely nice about it. Who knew.

34. Germans are the most homemaker-esque people you will ever meet. Everything they make is delicious.

33. Rolling cigarettes is a religion.

32. European students have no problem having sex in classrooms with glass walls.

31. Currywurst is the best thing you will ever eat.

30. Lightswitches switch down to turn on. It's weird.

29. If at first it doesn't work, assume it's automatic.

28. Heinz ketchup is ridiculously expensive in Denmark.

27. When you use the shower, there's no little wall to block the water from going all over the bathroom floor. And it does.

26. Danes keep to themselves for the most part, however Germans are friends with literally everyone.

25. World War jokes are made mercilessly and no one takes offence.

24. No one knows Canadians were in the World Wars.

23. Stereotypes run rampant. No one gets insulted.

22. That being said, all Canadian stereotypes are true.

21. People are not as courteous, they don't necessarily say sorry for running into or cutting you off.

20. Not every accent is the stereotypical one. Birte was German but had a British English accent.

19. Germans are the kindest people you will ever meet and are the kindest to strangers.

18. Canadians think they can drink. They've got nothing on Danes.

17. People will call you American to get on your nerves. It works.

16. Danes are ridiculously flirty, yet will never buy you a drink. Germans are the opposite.

15. Jagerbombs are the go-to drink.

14. Europe is home to the most creative drinking games.

13. Christmas is a huge deal in Germany and Denmark. Like huge.

12. Danish is the weirdest language I've ever heard.

11. Although stereotypically German is an aggressive language, this is not true. However, it's fun to make fun of it.

10. Barely anyone has cars, everyone bikes. And I'm talking upright European bikes that we would call "hipster".

9. Bike bells are used to say "get out of the way". Who knew a dainty sound like that could be so aggressive.

8. Most Europeans are ridiculously well-travelled. They are also way less dependent on their parents. Kind of makes you wonder what North America is doing wrong.

7. European clubs play the best music.

6. Absinthe is the drink of the devil.

5. The most useful words to learn from another language are the swear words, yes and no.

4. The Danes have this weird tongue twister they get foreigners to say. They think it's hilarious when you fuck it up all over the place.

3. Everyone is ridiculously skinny and small. Even the guys aren't built.

2. Not every stranger is rude or wants to cause you harm. You will experience some of the most amazing kindness from strangers.

1. You will have the best time of your life and meet the most amazing and interesting people. Ask questions, learn things, love who you're with and what you're doing. Don't let fear stop you.

The Last Weekend and Canuhduh

This time last week I was still about twelve hours from home.

I know I should've written about my last weekend in Sonderborg at least eight days ago, but I had limited access to my laptop on the way home and since I've been home it's been hectic.

And it's been a lot of the same.

I guess I'm used to new things constantly happening to me now. Without that daily novelty, life seems a little boring.

Sure, I'm excited to go skiing and to go back to Mt. A. and see everyone, but I realized I'm back in my yearly routine. And that kind of sucks. It was weird, when my plane finally landed in Halifax, the first thought that went through my head was "well that's it".

It seems like I never left. And when I think about my time in Sonderborg, it seems like a dream. Like it didn't actually happen. I'm more and more thankful that I wrote this blog so that I can remember the things I might otherwise forget.

And with that in mind, here's my second last blog post (because I have one more in mind) and the last run-down of a drunken weekend.

FRIDAY

In typical fashion, for my last five days in Sonderborg I was drunk almost every night. What started out as casual drinking on Thursday night, turned into a entire bottle of wine, three beers and two shots of Fisk all by myself. Therefore, Friday felt a lot like Saturday and I could feel my body hating me already. How is it possible that in September I could five nights in a row and now I can barely do two?

Anyway, Friday was the last night of Cafeen being open. We decided tonight was the night to go hard. We started drinking in the kitchen and by 10 we were plastered. Maud, Solene and I had planned to do one more Shot-Up challenge once we got to Cafeen, you know, in remembrance. But we were wayyy too drunk once we got there. Hence, I don't remember a lot of Friday.

However, at some point, Birte decided that we should go exploring. Little did I know, that the university is left open, even during Cafeen nights, and so drunk people are free to roam. So we took the elevator upstairs, spent way to much time yelling into the high ceiling foyer and ran around crashing some random teacher's party. We also found out the hard way that a lot of classrooms are used for drunk hook-ups.

At some point, someone must've reported that we were causing a ruckus because next thing we knew a security guard was after us. We ran through staff rooms and kitchens (stealing beer and food from the fridges along the way) until we found a cleaning closet and hung out in there until the guard was gone. As a side-note, there was a Kit-Kat bar and a beer in the cleaning closet. Only Danish janitors...

After we made our way back down to Cafeen, it was closing up and the boys were already belting out "Closing Time". We were soon ushered out and from there we headed to Wunderbar. I didn't stay long because I was at the crashing part of drunken-ness, so I headed to Pronto Pizza for the last time. It's official, the pizza man knows my name. He also somehow knew that I was from Canada and talked to me about he hoped to get there someday. I can only hope that my response was one of some kind of encouragement. Some random dude in there also asked me for my number... weird. What was even weirder was when I told him no, he asked for my Facebook... I'm sorry, what? Is that a thing?

SATURDAY

Preeetty rough hangover on Saturday, but the show must go on. That night we were headed to a housewarming party. This apartment was insane. It's right on the waterfront and they have the best view. It's also loft style, so it had the downstairs drinking area, then they had set up a DJ and a dance floor in the loft. So sick.

So Birte and I spent most of the time drinking a lot of wine and then started to head out to Wunderbar when the Danes at the party started to light themselves on fire.

I'm not kidding.

Someone thought it would be fun to stick toilet paper in their pants and make a toilet paper tail, then light said tail on fire. I've seen a lot of stupid shit, but I think this is right up near the top. It was at this point that the hosts started to kick people out.

We got to Wunderbar and had copious amounts of shots, danced to some of the worst techno music ever and then called it a night with a knock-off Subway sandwich.

SUNDAY

Sunday was sad and depressing. I cleaned, packed and returned my bike. Lame.

MONDAY

A few days before, the girls and I had decided we were going to make home-made pizza for my last dinner in Sonderborg. What I didn't know is that they made it into a kind of going-away party for me. They decorated the kitchen in little signs and hung up lights. It was absolutely adorable. We ate our pizza and then the boys came and we all had a few drinks.

Then came the water-works. Unbeknownst to me, Maud and Solene had got everyone together to make a good-bye video for me. Here's the link. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10152065250689455

Literally, it was one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. I was in tears before it even started. So rough.

But believe me, it got rougher. I decided to go to bed early because I had to be up at 4am to leave. The girls had decided to come to the train station with me, but the boys weren't, so I was essentially saying my final good-byes that night.

Oh it was so bad. I was bawling all over the place and hugging the boys. When I finally went up to my room, I just kind of sat and sobbed for a while. It's weird to think that I'v spent so much time with these people and I might never see them again. It's just hard to imagine.

TUESDAY

I couldn't sleep at all through the night. I spent some time crying and some time trying to sleep, but for the most part I was too restless. I woke up at 4am and did some final cleaning and packing before I got the girls and we all hopped in the car and went to the train station. When we got there, my train was already there, so we decided to wait for a bit. We all got out of the car and walked down the platform.

As we were doing this, we noticed two guys sitting on the bench next to the platform with their hoods up. It was super sketchy because there was no one else around. But as we got closer, I recognized one of the guys' shoes. It was Victor and Simon!!

And they were loaded.

Apparently, the boys had stayed up and got drunk. At around 4:30, Victor and Simon decided they wanted to to come say good-bye. So they grabbed a couple of beers and walked all the way to the train station. I was so unbelievably touched.

The girls had also made me a little care package full of goodies to take on the train with me so I wouldn't be hungry. These people are literally amazing, I didn't even know what to say.

When it came time to get on the train, everyone helped me put my stuff in it's place and then went outside and stood by my window. Simon had explained to me that they were going to do a "Pearl Harbor good-bye", like in the movie.

So when the train started to move, they all started to run after it. All six of them. It was both hilarious and heart-wrenching all at the same time. One-by-one, the train outran them until it was only Victor and Simon still running and then the platform ended. I may have cried just a little bit when they were finally out of sight.

And so began my long trek back to Canada. I tried to focus on what was ahead instead of what I left behind, but I still miss everyone everyday and I know it's going to be so much harder in January when they're all back together and I'm not with them.

However, I know I'll be back. I'm already planning to go to Paris to see Maud and Solene and Germany to see the Germans. This isn't the end of these friendships, it's just the end of the simplicity of them.

This exchange has completely changed me. I can't really say how, but the world just seems so close now and my little life in Nova Scotia seems so small. I can't wait to be done school and to travel more. To learn things that actually matter and to meet people who would do anything for others. Mostly I can't wait to see anyone from Team 11 again. They are some of the best friends I've ever had and I'm looking forward to what adventures we might have together in the future. This exchange would not have been what it was without them.


Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Vores Secret Santa (Our Secret Santa)

I think it was in my last post that I said that we were all doing a Secret Santa. So on Sunday (the Second Advent, apparently this was significant) we all came down to the kitchen with our presents and put them under the tree.

Aww, like a real family.

Maud and Victor were already manning the crepe-making and all of us had brought down different condiments to put on them; nutella, jam etc. Sophia had also made a cake and Solene had made cookies.

We then turned on some Christmas music and had regular wine and hot wine while we ate our crepes. It actually felt so much like Christmas. Although I'm excited to come home, I kind of wish I had all these people coming with me.

Anyway, before we started opening gifts, the boys made Max bring his keyboard into the kitchen and play Christmas songs. It was kind of funny at first because Max was taking it very seriously. Plus all the Germans were singing the Christmas songs and "Oh Christmas Tree" sounds hilarious in German. As a side-note, the Germans seem to think that songs like "Oh Christmas Tree" and "Little Drummer Boy" are exclusively German. I had to explain to them that the songs exist in English too.

Finally we got around to presents. I had to insist that we open each one-at-a-time because everyone was set on opening them all at once. But we had to see what everyone got each other!

Some of the most notable gifts were,

Maud to Hadrien (who just got an internship in South Africa): a "South Africa survival kit"- treats, a tie, a condom and a "little bit of company..."

ie. a unicorn

Max to Irina: Silicone (like for building houses) for her 'small boobs'. Apparently she'd joked about it to Michi and Michi had told Max to buy it for her.

Michi to Jo: A massive block of clay, for when he gets mad so he can punch it. If you haven't gathered already from my past posts, Jo has a temper.

Irina to Maud: Some Christmas candy and a toy princess set.

Henceforth dubbed "Princess Maud of France/The World"

Nils to Max: A construction sign and some candy. 

Yeah, I don't even know.

Birte to Michi: Beyblades. Apparently those were never a fad over in Europe, so I had to explain what the big deal was and how to use them.

As for me, I got Birte, so I bought her some earrings and some Ferrero Rocher chocolates. And it turns out Simon got me. Apparently I'm very hard to buy for, so he got me this cute little stuffed gnome, candy and some of those green and red reindeer antlers.

All-in-all, pretty great night. It was good to everyone together again, since that's barely happened since Flensburg. 

PS. Bought my train ticket to Copenhagen to get home today. Leaving is getting real. Ugh.





Saturday, December 7, 2013

Bartenderundervisning og skøjteløb (Bartending and skating)

A few things...

Last night I stayed out until 6am. I have only done this one other time in my life and that didn't even count because we just left to the Crow to go to a co-worker's house.

Not claiming to be any kind of badass, but holy shit, last night lasted forever.

We started the evening at 8 in the kitchen. I have now officially confirmed that my alcohol tolerance has gone way wayyy up since I've been here. I downed a bottle of a wine in the span of an hour and a half. In second year, this would've floored me for the night and I was barely buzzing at that point last night.

Two hours later I was bartending at Cafeen, for both the first and last time. I know I've had some hate-on for working at Cafeen in some of the last couple of posts but it was actually so amazing to be behind a bar again. You just get in the zone with the music and the speed of it all and it's just kind of a high. Plus I was making great tips. Found out later on that night I was the only one who did that night. Score one for the Canadian.

And I don't want to brag too much, but Team 11 kept saying I actually looked like I knew what I was doing and I was really fast. So, woot, I'm actually skilled at something. I may or may not have threw a couple drinks their way.

So after cleaning Cafeen (which took longer than expected because Hadrien knocked over a whole case of empty beer bottles as he tried to stay after closing) it was about 3am. I was exhausted, but I really wanted to go out and see everyone.

Let me set the scene here. I walk into Wunderbar, which isn't as full as I was hoping for, but it gave me a clear view of where everyone was. Nils and Simon are holding themselves up at the bar, each throwing back five consecutive shots of Fisk. Hadrien is sitting on top of a table with his head hanging, presumedly taking a nap. Maulene (Maud and Solene) are dancing on the tables next to the dance floor to the Backstreet Boys "I want it that way". Joe is having a tantrum off in the corner next to the washrooms and Hanna is freaking because someone puked in the sink in the washroom so she can't wash her hands.

Oh. That's what happens after Cafeen closes.

Anyway, I just kind of jumped into the clusterfuck and next thing I know I'm teaching Simon how to probably do the YMCA dance on stage. (There were a lot of Fisk shots involved before that point).

Other significant events that night;

Solene nearly has a breakdown because she lost her purse, turns out it was on the d-floor
Hadrien falls asleep on almost every table in the bar
Fisk shots are only ordered in increments of ten. Eff.
Maud, Solene and I were most definitely the annoying white girls on the dancefloor.
The puke in the sink in the washroom was real.
Hadrien got kicked out (way too late)
Nick gets kicked out
Nick sneaks back in
Nick gets literally thrown out of the bar (much like you would see in movies)
Among other things...

I don't think any of us have been that fucked up before. This is the general idea of Team 11's Facebook group wall that morning.

You know you've killed a serious amount of liver cells when your phone is missing the next morning.

Anyway, I got home at 6am, after getting Pronto Pizza (the guy who works there every Friday now knows my name. I also recall us having a conversation about his homeland Lebanon and how he wants to go to Canada someday. I really hope I encouraged him or was at least coherent, but I honestly wouldn't know if I was) ate the pizza in bed (which I suppose was like breakfast), listened to One Direction then fell asleep.

Then woke up at 2:30 in the afternoon. I swear I thought the sun was setting when I woke up and almost had a panic attack. We were supposed to go skating at 3, but clearly that wasn't happening so we re-scheduled for 5.

Apparently Sonderborg builds an outdoor skating rink every year and we drive past every day when we go to school, so we finally wanted to go. So Birte, Victor, Simon and I all piled in the car and drove down there.

It was actually so much fun. I'm a horrible skater, but Victor had barely skated in his life, so Birte and I basically had to teach him while Simon twirled circles around all of us. 


At one point a child did crash into me and I almost fell, but I managed to save it in an embarrassing display of flailing limbs. Simon offered each of us a push-penguin, but we still had our dignity.

Thanks anyway Simon

We took a break halfway through and had glogg (hot wine, sounds gross but its actually really good. It's a German/Danish Christmas tradition) and hot chocolate. Then Simon and Victor went for a skate together which was hilarious. We have this ongoing joke that they are the ultimate bromance.

Yes they are holding hands.

All in all, pretty twenty-four hours. I only have nine days left here which is so weird. It's definitely beginning to feel like Christmas here though, so I'm starting to ache for home a bit. It even snowed yesterday and Maud and I bombarded everyone drinking in the kitchen with snowballs. Maturity.

Anyway the next week is going to be pretty great and I'm going to try to make the most of what time I have left here. The girls have already decided they're going to come to the train station with me when I leave (at 5am, no less) and say good-bye. I'm half happy about this and half sad. I'm flattered they're all willing to get up and come see me off, but I'm also not good with group good-byes. They make me all sad and emotional and then I cry and get embarrassed. Ugh, this is going to be rough, so I just try to think about it too much.

PS. Tomorrow we're doing a Secret Santa. Maud and I were procrastinating and designed each of the name tags for the drawing. I got both of the German flags wrong that I drew and now the Germans won't let me forget it.

I guess that's what I get for not Googling.

Also if you look closely, Victor drew a moose on mine. This is the foreign recognition of Canada. Maple leaf flags and moose.









Sunday, December 1, 2013

Vores Charlie Brown juletræ (Our Charlie Brow Christmas Tree)

So as I may or may not have mentioned, the kitchens here are shared amongst all the residents of a floor. Usually we all hang out in the downstairs kitchen which is where most of the Germans live.

A couple of weeks ago, we got the idea that we should go chop down a baby tree for Christmas and decorate and put it in the kitchen. This would serve two purposes;

1) Christmas spirit woot!
2) A direct "fuck you" to the cleaning staff who keep locking us out of the kitchen for collecting beer cans in the cupboards.

Anyway, so because today is the first of December, it seemed appropriate to go out today. Plus, it's a Sunday and it's "the Lord's day". So we've got the religious part of Christmas covered too. Killing birds with one stone all over the place.

So, the boys + Birte and I headed off into the woods to look for our tree. Apparently the boys had scoped one out earlier in the week, so we hiked to where this perfect tree was located... Approximately an hour away.

But it wasn't bad, the walk was mostly on the cliffs that were next to sea and the sun was setting so it was a nice break from working.

It was pretty dark outside when we finally reached the tree. Nils got out his saw and I kid you not, within five seconds it was done.

"The Chosen One"

After it was cut, Max and Michi carried it and we all started the long trek back. Birte and I were a little bit spooked because the woods were freaky at night so we started to sing Disney songs. The boys had to stop about ten minutes later to pee and we didn't really think anything of it when they all huddled around the tree for a few moments before continuing to walk.

However, soon after Max, Michi and Nils "disappeared".

Simon went back to "look for them" which we later found out was just a ruse to freak us out. When Simon came back and said he couldn't find them, we were a little bit more spooked. Obviously there was a reasonable explanation, but still your mind wanders.

So we kept walking; Victor, Birte and I were in front, therefore we didn't notice when Simon and Hadrien ducked behind a tree. 

Victor at this point started feigning concern for where Simon and Hadrien had gone and how everyone kept disappearing. Birte and I kind of knew that they were planning to scare us, but that just freaked us out more, so we started walking faster towards the road.

At which point, we heard this loud scream from about sixty feet behind us. I swear to God, I screamed so loud and literally pulled Birte and Victor and just started booking it for the road. I was literally shaking.

When we finally made it back to the kitchen, I was ready to kill the boys, however all of them insisted they hadn't made the scream, that it must have been something in the woods... OKAY.

Anyway, since the men had cut down the tree, it was up to the girls to decorate. (We're very sexist here). 

Max had brought a tree stand, lights and ornaments from his house in Germany, so he left us to it. 

Before.

After.

Awww, so cute. Also please note the Santa at the top of tree. There was some inconsistencies there because the French and I always put angels on the tops of our trees, but the Germans do stars, so we compromised with Santa.

Such a cute way to end of the weekend.

PS. My own floor's kitchen was locked all weekend because it was "too dirty". Yeah, kay whatever. But some good has come out of it because I've literally OD'ed on take-out sushi.